owlobsessed March 5, 2019

I’ll start by acknowledging that this post is perhaps among the most unnecessary OWL articles of all time. And yet, I felt it had to be done. Some choices on this list may tilt you, but remember, the Sorting Hat is always right (except for Hermione WTF was that). Without further ado:

see Jjonak: Slytherin

Starting with an easy one. I’ve always perceived two factions of Slytherins; there is the cowardly type like Draco and the “real shit” type like Voldemort. Jjonak, obviously, belongs in the Voldemort wing. For starters, Zenyatta low-key be looking like Voldy. Additionally, Jjonak is all-powerful and all-dominant, but you can bet on his team being defeated in the end.

like this Mickie: Hufflepuff

Mickie is loyal, kind and impossible to hate, therefore embodying the spirit of a true Hufflepuff.

Dafran: Gryffindor

Between the daring top-rope Zarya gravs, ulting in spawn and playing Torbjörn unironically, Dafran is the easily the bravest man in the Overwatch League.

Fusions: Hufflepuff

I’m getting Diggory vibes here. A champion of the underdogs.

Bumper: Slytherin

I’ve actually been surprised the former fan-favorites decided to turn heel on North American soil. But the Titans, led by Bumper, have been the perfect villains this season and their eventual game versus the NYXL is the most anticipated game of the season.

Surefour: Ravenclaw

S4 leads the Gladiators with his game sense and shot-calling. His fundamental understanding of the game is top-tier.

Fissure: Slytherin

On his third team in six stages, Fissure’s impressive gameplay is only out-shined by his off-LAN drama.

Poko: Ravenclaw

How does he land so many Poko bombs? The man understands angles. Dude’s a walking Zach Galifinakis equation meme.

Carpe: Gryffindor

Naturally special and known for overcoming all odds, Carpe is an easy Gryffindor pick. I mean he’s got Harry Potter glasses ffs.

Sinatraa: Slytherin

Young, talented and rich, people love to root against Sinatraa. Mr. 150k is the Draco of the Overwatch League and he enjoys every bit of it.

Gesture: Ravenclaw

Similar to Surefour, Gesture led last year’s OWL Champions with some old fashioned brain power.

Moth: Hufflepuff


Geguri: Gryffindor

Traveling across the world from her home to battle as the only woman in OWL, Geguri is everything a Gryffindor could aspire to be.

Jake: Slytherin

Tilting time Outlaws fans! We both know your boy and that dark side doesn’t belong in Gryffindor. And to be honest, it makes him more interesting anyway.